When I was about 8 I started to write a killer Jam but I never managed to finish it as nothing inspired me. It went like this…
"I love my bum,
My bum loves me,
We sit under the apple tree."
Well now I can finally write the second verse…it goes like this.
"I love Scottys shovelhead
Scotty's Shovelhead Loves me,
We ride into the apple tree."

Because I am total Chav I have started altering all my words in a chav stylee. This beez is well alroz. If the geez asked me to have a goz, I would for shoz. But it's raining todoz, so maybe tomoz. This caption is fucking ridoz.

The Performance King is absolutely 'Radio Rental'! (Translation: Mental) and he fucks shit up on a serious level. When he finally realized that 'nothing hit the spot like herion', he decided to lock himself away with a meth addicted mechanic and build some of the gnarliest (is that even a real word?) cars ever. Sweet.

I took these pics of Jasin Phares yonks ago but we never put them in the mag at the time. It doesn't really matter because Jasin and his bike have such a classic look that they could be run at any time…not only that, but when you see him ride it looks like a real life David Mann painting! Nice.

I've said it before and I'll say it again…our mate Yak has a pet cat that is completely bonkers and he is called Peter! Ok check this out…I went over there once and he fucking jumped on me and started trying to sit on my head and shit, then he jumped on the computer screen, then he jumped straight out of the window! Me and poor Peter didn't know what to think! Hiyuken!

Because my Mum was born and raised for the first part of her life in Dublin I have a very slight Irish accent that can just barely be heard sometimes when I talk. Oi canny mind de guys name dat rode dis motorbike so oi apoligize but so'tiz pure soun' anyway. What?

Marty Triumph's is wicked. Have you noticed anything different about the frontend angle? You think it has been raked huh? Aha! It hasn't! It was actually ronked on the quarter sleeve, which bolts up to the cup housing. Piss off I know my stuff.

We get some killer shots all the way from Finland in the shape of this flaked out Harley, 'The Religious Vomit'.
Pics: Etienne Musslin

When I was at school I knew this div kid who was a right pain in the arse. The only reason I put up with him is because his dad had an old Triumph and every time I went to his house I would always sneak off into the garage and just stare at this magnificent machine and imagine the day that I would own one myself. That burned into my mind and it changed me forever. It actually turned out to be Moto Morrini with Triumph decals on it as I found out years later when I went to Bromley Paegent and saw the owners club there. His Dad was a div aswell. Gary's Triumph is the real deal.

This is a freaky shit but we actually got sent a desposible camera through the post and piece of paper with scribbles all over it from some kid up north. We got the thing developed and the whole story made sense. This guy had actually run into an old homeless dude that built this Sportster under a bridge out of bottles and cans! You have to see it to believe it!

Oh Jesus…This issue's style bible…Hats.

You always hear the same stereotypical thing when people talk about Seattle and it sounds so stupid, but when went there recently for a DicE party we found out for ourselves that it was actually 100% true! People drink beer in the streets, fuel altereds are constantly doing burnouts down the road and there are thousands of killer bikes everywhere. When are we going back?!

Cam's Panhead is perfect and it gets ridden a lot all the way down under! So that means he ride when we sleep and sleeps when we ride. Unless he rides when you sleep and he sleeps on your ride? Wait where are you for fucks sake?

Ok some of you out there already know that a certain motorcycle corporation slightly bigger than us ripped our slogan off because we pissed them off by not letting them advertise with us. I would like to take this chance to clear it all up once and for all. I can't really say who it is, but if you are reading this, your new bike sucks balls and we would never have it on our pages even if you did want to pay us shit loads of cash!
Oh and we also don't care that Indiana Jones rides one in that crap new movie either.
Fuck This, Lets Ride.
Pics: Scott Pommier

Do you remember that bit in 'Saturday Night Fever' where Travolta looks at that girl on the dance floor when he has the white suit on and she's all like looking back at him and then he like just goes mental with the moves? Sweet right?
Pics: Josh Kurpius

We have had a couple of complaints that whoever writes this shit should give more details about the bike and less about the other stupid stuff that he usually spouts, so I would like to apologize and promise you from now on I will change.
Regarding this bike you see here…take 2 cloves of I'm going to punch you in the face, stir in a shut your gob and then cook for about yo momma.
Pics: Coalition Imagery

Dr. Glory is a complete Nonce.